Don't Fix The Door, Just Tear Down The House!

Okay, let's say your house has, among all of its assorted doors, windows, cabinets, etc., one door, maybe just a cabinet door, that squeaks a bit. What do you do? Most of us think we'd just oil the offending hinge and be done with it. Ah, but then there's the socio-political way of handling it. Remove all the doors from their hinges throughout the house. Or, hey, just tear down the whole damn house.

What on Earth am I on about, you ask? Just how it amazes (sickens, saddens, etc.) me how we seem to strike all around the problems at hand, doing all kinds of damage without ever actually fixing anything, and in many instances making it worse.

Take this town where I work. We've had a couple of bank robberies in the last year. A major city nearby has had a few, and in truth there have been several over the last couple o'years within a 100 to 150 mile radius. Yeah, that's pretty much everywhere that's populated, I realize, so what? Well, the robbers, it seems, to everyone's amazement, tended to wear dark sunglasses and on occasions, hats. So, naturally, the local banks are all on high alert. Now, no one, to my knowledge has seen a weapon, and no one has been hurt. But still, 'tis only a matter of time, right? Let's face it, if you think you're gonna get any real money by robbing a bank teller, you're either desperate, stupid, or a wee bit of both. Desperate, stupid people do really foolish things so I'll agree some heightened security might be in order.

Okay, then, so what do we do? Let's see in some convenience stores, the clerk is surrounded by bulletproof glass. One would think banks would have a wee bit more money in their security budget than a corner Stop-N-Rob. So, have our local banks done this? Um ... no. I'm sure the land abounds with retired police officers and military men and general folks of good character who wouldn't mind donning a uniform and a gun and adding a bit of protection from some back corner of the building. In my youth, it seems that every bank, even the little closet sized ones had armed security on hand. Oh, but that would be introducing the great evil of a GUN into the picture ... oh, wait ... the robber might already have done that. I guess the banks just don't want to stoop to the bad guys' level? Or ... what the hell are they thinking?! Do they upgrade their security systems with crash-down cages and locking doors like some jewelry stores use? Why, no, that might be unfriendly or something. Personally I'd love to see the video of a bank robber get his money, turn, and suddenly POOF! Bulletproof glass pops up around the tellers' desks, a cage descends over the robber, all the doors lock ... muh-ha-ha-ha ... We could even give the bank managers Sting-Ball grenades to ... well ... I'll just draw a curtain of censorship around that deviously delightful notion.

Well, I imagine you've all figured out that none of the banks around here seem to have done any of the above steps. What have they done? Well, one bank put up these little signs: Remove all hats, hoods, and sunglasses before entering bank." Inside the bank, at the teller windows, are little signs, "Hats, hoods, and sunglasses are not allowed to be worn inside the bank." Now, let me get this straight, some desperate (and probably stupid) evil-doer who has already opted to commit a crime that might well net him 20 years in Club Fed, who might already be illegally packing heat, who may well have no problem whatsoever in dealing out death and destruction in a steely-eyed, sociopathic manner, is going to see these little signs and thing, "Oh, goodness, I can't rob this place! They don't allow my hat and shades in there!" Or do the brilliant minds that be think the criminal, in the midst of committing his crime, will see the sign as yon teller fills his loot bag, realize he's breaking the rules (oh, my!), and immediately remove his hat, hood, and/or shades so they cameras will get a better view?

So, rather than implement actual physical security for their employees, their clients, and our damn money, the banks decide to restrict everyone's freedom. I have to remove my hat and my shades (even though a brightly lit, window surrounded lobby is often painful to my unshod eyes) all in order to be afforded the privilege of handing this fine institution my hard-earned money so they can boost their claimed holdings and thus earn higher ratings and loan it out to make more money. I am at a loss to explain this anti-logic. This goes right in line with the anti-gun laws. "Gun Free Zone" signs don't seem to deter people bent on committing murder. Wow, who'da thunk that people about to commit mass capital felonies would not be deterred by some minor institutional rules (or at most misdemeanors)? I'd point this kinda stuff out to the gobshite morons, but when you try to educate a certain class of liberal eejit, all you seem to get is drool, dumb looks, and frustration.

Well, the next time a bank is robbed, I'll make sure to make a big deal out of the fact that said robber blatantly ignored the bank's unenforceable rule to remove his identity obscuring accoutrement's. Yeah, I don't think they'll appreciate my sense of humor.