Well 'tis that time of year again. Time for the yearly list of the top most dangerous toys. Okay, I'll give you that a few of them, most notably those coming from China present some poisoning dangers. I mean, c'mon, who the hell thinks it is at all acceptable to put lead in a child's toy? And those "Aqua Dots?" Why on Earth would anyone make a toy for children that is so toxic (can reportedly break down in the digestive tract and have an affect similar to the drug GHB). So, yeah, I agree there are some hidden dangers out there that everyone needs to be aware of. Still, though, as usual, the rallying cry "for the children!" hath been uttered and with it, common sense hath flown the coop.

One of the top "offenders" on the list? A spinning wrist dagger thingy based on the ever popular Pirates of the Carribean toy line. The complaint? It's a bit stiff and, yes, "you could put an eye out with it!" Seems like I've seen a warning video wherein one of these was stabbed into an apple. My inner child was thinking, "Alright! I gotta get me one of those!" So, yeah, okay, don't give one to your five year old. If your kid is a bit irresponsible, maybe don't give him one at all. But hell, when I was in my later single-digit years, one of my toys was a great uncle's 1917 Enfield bayonet that he used in WWI. So happened that it fit nicely onto the bayonet lug on my one of my toy rifles. So long as I was playing alone and not wandering too far from the house, I was allowed to get the two foot long bayonet from my room (yes, I kept it there, along with a couple of billy clubs, dozens of toy guns [some fired stoppers, oh, my!], toy swords, etc.) and go play soldier. Note, please that I managed to not impale myself or indeed anything that I should not. I respected the damage it could do as I respected the fact that my father would be a bit perturbed should I misbehave with it.

Ah, but that was then. No, wait. See I remember when this "dangerous toy" list came out back then. I remember being maybe 8 or 9 and horrified to hear some of my favorite toys that I either already had or wished to soon be given were "too dangerous for kids." Yard jarts were definately a no-no on that list. Remember yard jarts? Lawn darts? Those pointy metal things with fins that one threw in the air trying to ring a plastic circle? Oh, my! The fear was that some kids might throw them at objects other than sweet Mother Earth and thereby risk injury to themselves, other children, and pets. My question, even back then was that if some kid did this, where the heck were their parents? My father thought that an excellent question. Indeed, we agreed even way back then, that the problem with nearly all the "dangerous" toys was a lack of training by the parents, supervision by the parents, and/or the parents' judgement in giving such items to an untrustworthy kid. In fact, the only time I ever say lawn darts being misused, even with all the goofy kids I knew, were when the 18 - 20 crowd got their little mits on them. Sure, everyone knew someone who's cousin's friend's eight year old neigbor got a yard dart stuck in their head, but none could honestly confess seeing this.

Like I said, though, there are certainly a few dangers that all parents should be made aware of. Flammable bedclothes, electronic toys with bad wiring, toys with poisonous paint or other such issues. Still, call me old-fashioned, call me out of touch with today's liberal society (I hope!), but I think it is still the parents' responsibility to ensure their child's safety with the spinning wrist daggers, lawn darts, BB guns, stopper pistols, baseball bats, hockey sticks, wooden swords, etc. Problem is, just like with hurricanes, it has somehow become public opinion that it is our goverment's job to protect us, to regulate us, to save us. Um ... no. See, we are a Republic. In our republic, though we elect officials to respresent us (hence it being a republic and not a democracy), WE THE PEOPLE are the real government. Certainly I have no problem with regulations agains hidden dangers like lead-based pain in kids' toys, or GHB-like glue in childens' art kits (and, oh, wow, check it out, it appears they both come from China, hmm... more on that at a later date, perhaps). What I DO have a problem with is the government being expected to tell me what I can and cannot buy, how I can raise my kids, what I can teach them, what I cannot, and even what toys they can see on store shelves. The goverment, remember, is all too willing to come in to handle your private affairs once invited, but seldom is the government so willing to leave once it gets in. Think about it.

No, really, think about it. In the 1930's we wanted them to regulate guns because there were bad guys running around armed. So, the National Firearms Act was formed and the dreadded Tommy Gun and other "dangerous" firearms were restricted. Funny, that, since hardly anyone could afford them anyway, and let's not forget that the criminals by their very nature have no problem breaking laws. Look where we are today. Whole cities and even states wherein only the criminals are well armed.

We let them regulate automobiles ... Go read your state Rules of the Road. It's damn near impossible to leave your driveway without breaking some law. Of course that helps us a whole lot when it comes to drug enforcement.

We let the government declair a "War on Drugs." Now, we all know, drugs are bad. Well, bad drugs are bad. I say that last b/c I have had to point out to young kids who have had the "Drugs are Bad" speech in Kindergarten or First Grade that it is, in fact, okay to take their cold medicine, and it's okay if Mommy has an Advil and Daddy has a beer. However, in war, as we all know now, certain things are allowed that are usually not tolerated. We let the goverment go all ga-ga on drug enforcement and now look how full the prisons are. Look at the entire culture that has grown up unafraid of prison, the police, even death. Drugs are a prime example of where a little government regulation and enforcement is good, but a lot is very bad.

Where am I going with this (as if it isn't obvious)? Well, quite simply, as disturbed as I was while watching a news feature about the dangers of "Aqua Dots" (the little beads ... from China ... that if swallowed have a glue or some such that can act like GHB), I was horrified when I heard this woman say, "I think the goverment should do something about it, y'know? It's for our children!" (emphasis added). Once again the "For Our Children!" banner is being waved and with it we willingly surrender a wee bit more of our freedom as parents. Yes, yes, Aqua Dots should be removed from the shelf. Yes people should be warned. Hey, wait, that's already been done. What is it, exactly the goverment is supposed to do? Let's see ... they already require you, under penalty of jail and having your kids removed from your sight, to send them to state-ran schools (don't fool yourself, even private schools must follow the state-mandated formats). You must thereby submit your kids to being programmed to being gun-hating, religion-fearing, pacifistic conformists. And if your kid happens to ... oh, ... let's say draw a picture of a gun (like kids do), or is a bit bored with school (as the smart ones are), he or she might wind up suspended or expelled (must cast out the non-conformists, after all) and you can be turned over to the state prosecutor, be investigated by child welfare, etc. Yes, it can all happen. And we not only allow this to go on, but some of us, like the above-quoted lady, encourage it!!!

New set of rules proposed:

1. Get to know your kid. Know what he or she can be trusted with. Give them some room, let 'em prove themself to you. Reward and punish reasonably.
2. Supervise your kids. Give 'em some room to screw up, but keep 'em in eye-sight so their mistakes aren't life-threatening. See #1 above.
3. Insist the government give you back control of your children. You produced them, you pay for them, you love them, YOU, therefore should be the one in charge. Oh, and see # 1 and #2 above. No sense giving the gov't any ammo.
4. Teach your children that safety and success is their responsibility; it is not the Government's responsibility to keep them safe, make them successful, or bring down anyone more successful than they are. Life is not fair. Teach them that. Treat "fair" like any other curse word. I recommend soap and a toothbrush. Teach your kids to be responsible for themselves and each other. Review #1, #2, & #3.
5. The next time some liberal eejit shouts out the "For the Children" cry, duct tape their mouth shut. THAT's for the children, per #4 above! Oh, and see #s 1-4.

Okay, enough o'my ranting for now. I think my kids' X-box might have lead paint on it ... I'd better go confiscate it and do a few hours of "safety testing." ;)